Wreaking Havoc at Camp Half Blood
by BaseballisMyTrueLove
Summary: A new boy wreaks havoc at camp half-blood, I don't own anything. This story is lame, read at your own risk.
1. Desmond

Desmond lot out a squeal as he stepped into Camp Half-Blood, he couldn't believe it! He was actually here, he started dancing and singing, this is what dreeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaamssss are made of, by Lizzie McGuire. He was so involved in his dancing and singing, that he didn't realise were he was going, and he ended up bumping into a satyr.

"HOW DARE YOU BUMP INTO ME! I SHALL TURN YOU INTO MINCE MEAT!" the satyr boomed as his eyes glowed red.

"Oh pleaseee!" Desmond gasped, sinking to his knees with his hands cupped at his chest, "Please have mercy!"

The satyr started gufawing really loud, and Desmond was so scared, he wet his knickers.

"Oh my gosh, hehe, what a loser!" some girl with hair cackled to another girl with a face.

"Yea! I totally think we should give him swirlies and what not," a boy wearing clothes said.

Desmond felt the urge to cry, he had only been at camp for two minutes, and already people were wanting to give him swirlies. The worst part was, he didn't even know who he belonged to!

What if my godly parent never claims me? Desmond thought fearfully to himself.

Just then, a boy with a nose came walking up.

"Hey, you must be Desmond, I'm Grant, come softly, it's time for you to go to the Hermes cabin," the boy said.

"Am I Hermes' son?" Desmond asked wistfully. Hermes was like the jack off of all trades, something that Desmond was as well.

The boy shrugged.

"You could be, you might not be, we just put all the noobs who haven't been claimed yet in the Hermes cabin," said the boy.

"Are you a son of Hermes?" Desmond asked, as he followed him to the cabin.

Grant nodded.

"Yep, and I'm head on the cabin."

"Cool," said Desmond, and he stepped into the cabin, and saw about a bazillion people doing stuff in there.

"Whatcha doing?" Desmond asked a group of people with arms, who were playing cards.

"Playing cards, what does it look like?" one of the people asked, rolling her arms.

Desmond sighed and walked over to Garret who was reading a book.

"Whatcha reading?" he asked, peeking over Gavin's shoulder.

"A book, what does it look like?" Garrett replied.

Desmond gasped, he couldn't believe his ears! A minute ago Grant had seemed so nice and friendly, and now he was being a total jerk.

It was the book Desmond realised, the book was making him evil!

Desmond thrusted his fist in the air, he had a master plan, he would destroy ALL the books at Camp Half Blood!


	2. The Fire

_A/N: First of all, I'd like to thank everyone for their wicked reviews! Honestly, I was surprised that I had actually gottren reviews that weren't from flamers._

 _Second of all, there's no second of all, here's the next chapter :)_

* * *

That night, Desmond laid in wait until the only sounds in his cabin were those of the other kids breathing.

Then, as silently as he could, he crept out of bed, and grabbed the book that Garrison had been reading.

"It's going to be Fahrenheit 451 up in this bitch," Desmond snickered to himself as the book began to cackle and flame.

Unfortunately, he did not think ahead, and the smoke aroused several of his cabin mates.

"OMFG! It's a fire!" some girl with curlers in her hair screamed, as another girl started to whack at the flames with his pillow.

Soon, the whole cabin was filled to the brim with people eager to see what was happening.

"What is the meaning of this?" Mr D demanded, looking pissed off. He was dressed in a robe, and he had one of those green mud masks on his face.

"We don't know Sir, we just woke up and the cabin was on fire!" the girl with curlers said as Desmond edged away, eager not to be seen, he didn't know what would happen if he was known to be the one to start a fire.

"I think the fire was caused by this," Garrett said, holding up the charred piece of what used to be his book.

"Why would a book start a fire?" a boy holding a spear, whom Desmond recognised from the Ares cabin, gasped.

"The book didn't start a fire you nitwit, someone burned the book and started the fire obviously!" an Athena girl said, rolling her eyes.

"Who would want to burn books? That's so awful!" another Athena girl cried.

"Omg, what if it was a romance! This is dreadfully tragic!" an Aphrodite boy sobbed.

"I don't know, but whoever it was, they must be charged for this heinous act!" the first Athena girl exclaimed.

"Come on now, let's not get ahead of ourselves, it was only a book, some of us have more important issues to worry about," Mr D said with a bored yawn.

"Maybe, but what if today it's destroying books, and tomorrow it's destroying camp?" she said with her hands on her hips.

"Agnetha is right, we must keep close eyes on the camp," Chiron said.

Desmond gulped, how was he ever going to destroy all the books now?


	3. Desmond Gets Claimed

The following morning, Desmond was walking towards the eating place, when he saw that the library was closed for investigation.

"Dag nabit!" he grunted, kicking a clod of dirt, he hadn't even begun destroying the books in the library yet, and already, they had closed it off for the time being.

Oh well, there's nothing that could be done about it now, especially not on an empty stomach, so Desmond decided to eat, and come up with a plan after he had his meal.

When he reached the eating place, the whole cafeteria wa abuzz with what had happened last night.

"I feel personally attacked, I mean, books are Athena's domain, I'm sure this was an attack on Athena's children everywhere," a boy sitting at the Athena table said.

"No way! I'm pretty sure that book was a romance, this was an attack on Aphrodite's children!" the boy from last night cried out.

"No, I was the owner of that book, if it's an attack on anyone, it's the children of Hermes," Gavin said.

"Serves you right, I mean, Luke was your half-brother after all," the Athena girl snarked.

"Oh come on! That was a long time ago," Grant protested.

"Maybe it was a book of poetry! Maybe they're attacking the children of Apollo!" a boy sitting at the Apollo table exclaimed, jumping up and dropping his hurdy gurdy in the process.

Desmond fought the urge to facepalm, the book burning had nothing to do with the attacks on anyone, he just hated books. He thought about telling them straight up, but then he realised that would mean that he was admitting to being guilty.

Darn, I need a drink. Desmond thought to himself.

All of the sudden, a staff with a pinecone on the end glowed above his head. When everyone started pointing and cheering, Desmond knew that he had been claimed.

He was the son of...MR D!


End file.
